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Answering Questions Found on Quora - Part 1: Is being direct that bad? Sometimes you have to show the way because people beat around the bush


It's fine to offer advice, but I think everyone should take responsibility for dealing with their own problems, respecting their own time. What seems to you like avoiding problems, for others may mean that they are not yet ready to deal with them, since the emotional impact is different for those who observe from the inside than for those who observe from the outside. I believe that each person knows deep down what they have to do and will do it when the time is right.


Sometimes fear paralyzes, and this is where a little encouragement can be helpful. However, I believe that we should not interfere too much with the life path of another person, be it a family member or a friend, because it is right that everyone makes their own decisions and chooses their own path. If we rush and apply too much pressure, we risk conflict because it could seem that we lack empathy and trust in the other person's ability to manage their own life.


You won't always be available to solve their problems, so it's essential that they learn to do it themselves. Of course, if we're talking about less important decisions, like choosing the menu of the day, perhaps you can act with more freedom. However, even in these cases, I would recommend respecting the other people's ways.

I think we should practice more acceptance and non-judgment towards others, because if people do not perceive our unconditional acceptance, in the long run they will close themselves off and stop sharing with us not only their problems but also their thoughts, hindering the development of a healthy and open relationship and increasing frustrations.


Imagine being surrounded only by people who put pressure on you with their direct way of being. What would happen inside you? You would feel alone, misunderstood, and your self-esteem and confidence in your abilities could decrease, negatively affecting your mood and your desire to grow. Feeling like a puppet in the hands of others can be devastating. It is not nice if others do not trust you, your abilities; this lack of trust hurts a lot, so we tend to get close to those who support us unconditionally, because we want to have the possibility to act in our own way, without too many expectations from others, and to be able to face failures in peace.


Failure, in reality, does not exist; there are only lessons. From failure we grow and learn; this is the essence of the "growth mindset", as described in Carol Dweck's book. Unlike the "fixed mindset", which sees abilities as immutable and limited, the growth mindset welcomes failures as opportunities to develop new skills and improve oneself, seeing every challenge as a step towards personal progress, therefore it is a positive experience that should be embraced.


I have gone on a bit, but that is because the issue is much more complex than it may seem at first glance and the concept needs to be explained well. I see things this way, then of course everyone is free to see things in their own way. In the end, it is always about accepting others in everything, especially when they do not see things in our way. In my philosophy of life, a supporting pillar is precisely the concept of acceptance, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships, and I will continue to promote it.

 
 
 

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